2 weeks ago I had the privilege to hear Jason Evert speak at St. Mary's in Richmond. For those that don't know, he is a writer and speaker on chastity. I've heard a lot about him, what's in his books etc., but I've never read any of them. Let me tell you, after his talk I can't wait to read them.
Jason's talk inspired me to set my standards high. Love, in its true form, exemplifies Jesus. The St. Anthony prayer says "I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me." How wonderful is the thought of a relationship that is a "picture" of my relationship with Jesus, a relationship that is selfless and makes each person in it stronger and closer to God. Because God loves me unconditionally, I should expect to give and receive the same unconditional love in my relationship. Jason talked about how we, as women have the power to turn heads, but we also have the power to turn hearts. Sometimes we give guys what they want because we want to keep them happy and we justify it because they say "I love you." I know I get frustrated and think that guys just want one thing, but I've come to realize that maybe that has become true because we give it to them."Love can wait to give, lust can't wait to get." I know I have personally given in to the desires of a boyfriend because I was scared of what would happen if I didn't, but this is not the kind of relationship that brings me closer to God. If women start respecting themselves then men will learn they have to respect us too. We are beautifully created children of God and we should expect to be treated as such!
God has made each of us a masterpiece. Ephesians 5 is the verse that many people cringe at. "Wives submit to your husbands." But keep reading! "For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God's word." Jesus was crucified for us, and God expects men to lay down their lives for their wives. This is a high expectation, but why should we expect any less?
It's so easy to give into temptations, and something I have learned from my bible study leader at home is that if we know we will sin, why even put ourselves in the position to do so. This is a little excerpt from the latest issue of Radiant magazine that I think has a good point. Fr. Jim has also mentioned this before. True love doesn't balance on whether or not someone has little habits you can't know unless you live with them. There is no adequate "trial run" for marriage. Like the article and Jason say (and I looked up some statistics), a high percentage of people that cohabitate get divorced.
If you are willing to marry someone, you are willing to except them not only for the qualities you admire but also for their imperfections. We're taught to give ourselves completely to our spouse. Living with them and having sex with them is a physical representation of that, but what about the spiritual aspect. There is nothing binding in having sex with or living with a boyfriend. Just knowing you are going to marry someone is not enough. It's not permanent and yet we think it is. Until united with a spouse in the eyes of God, acts of lust are not honoring God. I want to save that part of my life for one person and one person only and I will only know that will happen if I'm married to them.
Here is a prayer that Jennessa gave us at the Women's Retreat for our future spouses...
Glorious Saint Raphael, Patron and lover of the young, I feel the need of calling to you and of pleading for your help. In all confidence I open my heart to you to beg your guidance and assistance in the important task of planning my future. Obtain for me through your intercession the light of God's grace so that I may decide wisely concerning the person who is to be my partner through life. Angel of Happy Meetings, lead us by the hand to find each other. May all our movements be guided by your light and transfigured by your joy. As you led the young Tobias to Sara and opened up a new life of happiness with her to holy marriage, lead me to such a one whom in your angelic wisdom you judge best suited to be united with me in marriage.
St. Raphael, loving patron of those seeking a marriage partner, help me in this supreme decision of my life. Find for me as a helpmate in life the person whose character may reflect some of the traits of Jesus and Mary. May he (she) be upright, loyal, pure, sincere and noble, so that with united efforts and with chaste and unselfish love we both may strive to perfect ourselves in soul and body, as well as the children it may please God to entrust to our care.
St. Raphael, angel of chaste courtship, bless our friendship and our love that sin may have no part in it. May our mutual love bind us so closely that our future home may ever be most like the home of the Holy Family of Nazareth. Offer your prayers to God for the both of us and obtain the blessing of God upon our marriage, as you were the herald of blessing for the marriage of Tobiah and Sarah.
St. Raphael, friend of the young, be my friend, for I shall always be yours. I desire ever to invoke you in my needs.
To your special care I entrust the decision I am to make as to my future husband/wife. Direct me to the person with whom I can best cooperate in doing God's Holy Will, with whom I can live in peace, love and harmony in this life, and attain to eternal joy in the next. Amen.
In honor of St. Raphael: Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be .
this is beautiful...as are you :) thanks for sharing! I think that it can be hard to wait when our society constantly tells us we will only be happy with giving in and seeking pleasure NOW. But this prayer combats that, and it is a very comforting thought :)
ReplyDeleteColleen, this was beautiful, and exactly what I needed just now. Hard to explain why, but just thanks for writing it :)
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