God's timing is absolutely impeccable, in all things from relationships to putting little things like this blog into our lives. From the end of tenth grade to second semester freshman year, I was pretty much always in a serious relationship. As a senior, it has now been three years since my last relationship. Lucky for me I am a pretty patient person and although I've struggled here and there with feeling lonely, I've always been pretty happy being single. Through prayer I knew that I just wasn't meant to be focusing on romantic relationships the past couple of years. But for some reason, the last 3 weeks have been really hard. God has someone planned for all of us that is more perfect than we can imagine. I believe this with all my heart...which is the problem. I have finally gotten to the point that I don't want to wait for that perfect match anymore. Who would want to wait for something so wonderful?
It is so perfect that as a I started to struggle with this, the awesome idea to read this prayer was shared with me. As I read today, the first thing that stuck out to me was this line. "You will never be united to another until you are united with Me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings." It is not developing a relationship with another human that I need right now, it is to strengthen my relationship with God. In order to know what God wants for me, I should be looking up to him. One of my favorite quotes is "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him to find her." I know I long for a relationship that challenges me to grow more spiritually and is completely centered on God, but in order for that to happen, I need to be completely united with God first.
The second part that has and always stand out to me the most is this:
"Know that I love you completely, for I am God. Believe, and be satisfied." I do believe in God's plan. I do believe that he loves all of us more than we can imagine. Believing isn't the hard part, it's being happy with what God has given us. I just ask that you pray for me for satisfaction, that I can be satisfied with what God has given me, even if it's not what I want.
Beautiful, Col. Now, I know you know my story in and out for the most part; however, I just wanted to let you know that I was meditating on the same section of the prayer today. I was reflecting on all of these pictures from college and realizing how much of it I would not have experienced if I were in a romantic relationship. Even in my last year at school (grad school), I needed to be home so frequently, that I missed a lot at JMU. God truly makes us "lonely" for a reason. We are so utterly blessed to have experienced what we have as single women in college. You are such a blessing :) Keep waiting. It will come.
ReplyDeletePraying the prayer again today, and reading you single girls' posts, has really got me thinking in a way I've sort of been dancing around for a while. You see, I totally subscribe to the idea that you need to be happy single before you can be happy in a relationship, and that you need to totally focus on God to be ready for that. So this is why I'm so confused. Half of my heart is kind of longing for singleness. It sounds really weird. But I think I could learn a lot from it, and it would be good for me, because as you said Colleen, I have been in serious relationships for quite a while. But at the same time, half of my heart is having such a good time getting to know Kenny and spend time with him. We send each other Bible verses every day, we pray together every night... I've honestly never felt closer to God, in a relationship OR just by myself. He's an amazing guy, and I feel like God put him in my life for a reason. So therein lies my confusion. Any suggestions?
ReplyDeleteCatrin,
ReplyDeleteI am not a single girl. I was throughout college. When I say I was a single girl throughout college though, I always had men that I "courted." I see nothing wrong with where you're going with Kenny. Please be sure to have fun with him! One of the things I was so worried about when I was in a similar situation was focusing so much on whether it was right or not in God's eyes. Instead, I wish I would have spent time going bowling with him, taking walks in downtown Harrisonburg with him, or enjoying some El Charro with him. Just a thought :)
P.S...you girls are all making me REALLY miss Harrisonburg!
I can understand how this can be confusing...I'm trying to think of an answer for you and its proving to be difficult, but this is the best I can come up with: I think it is so important to figure out who you are as an individual, but what I've come to realize that it has become so important because many many people are caught in unhealthy relationships that become twisted into dependency. It is then that many girls lose there individuality and can't figure out how to just be themselves. The need to be single comes from all the negatives of being in an unhealthy relationship.
ReplyDeleteIt seems as though your relationship is very fruitful. If you are truelly growing spiritually, then you are accomplishing individual growth. I don't think its fair to yourself to just give up something so wonderful because the timing is a little different then expected. That being said, I do challenge you to also spend time to just be you. It can still be accomplished while in an relationship and the fact that you can try and do things individually from Kenny can also make your relationship with him even stronger because you will be able to fully give yourself to him when you are together.
Ladies, both of your answers were so, so helpful. Really. My friends have been telling me I need a little more "light and fluffy" in my life- going out and doing fun things, instead of always being so serious. Though of course I would never cut the serious stuff out completely! And Colleen,the way you worded that made perfect sense. I think it is possible to achieve all this while not single, I just need to make sure it's possible for ME. I really am happy with how things are going; in a lot of ways it's everything I ever wanted from my last relationship that could just never quite get there. Thank you so much for your advice and prayers!
ReplyDeleteCaitrin, I thought about this and prayed for you all day yesterday. I would have to second both of the comments by Ali and Colleen. Pretty much exactly what I was thinking. I know you haven't had much time to be single in the past few years and that is probably why you long for that time to yourself. So make sure that you give yourself that time, but also if your relationship is so fruitful then why mess that up? You're great, keep being great!
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